We had to stop at a friend's house to go to the bathroom(thank you Sara!) and then we were back home. I was definitely feeling stronger contractions by then and was ready for my Mum and kids to visit a friend(Thank you Annjilla!) and for me to get in the birth pool(which of course wasn't set up yet because I didn't want the kids playing in it.) By now it was about 9pm and I decided to stop watching the clock because obviously labor was going to be longer than expected.:) It took FOREVER to get the pool set up it felt, but I spent the time swaying my hips back and forth. I especially like to lean over something and sway. Like I would lean over the side of the couch and sway my hips, or put my head on the seat of our cushy swivel chair and sway back and forth on my knees. It felt really good to have my belly hanging parallel to the floor. Alice was very low the whole time. We had my fabulous doula Sherry come about then. I labored in and out of the pool. I felt like I wanted things very quiet and calm. I felt bad that my birth seemed to me kind of boring for everyone else in the room because I was so focused inward. BJ says I apologized like infinity times about it. I just really wanted to be quiet and listen to my body. It is really hard to explain what I was feeling. It is an extremely amazing experience to be so in tune with what your physical body needs and is telling you. To move how it asks you to move. To get up or down. To get water or ice or something to eat. So often, as women we turn our bodies over to someone else to get our babies out of our bodies, when really we need to turn inward and just listen and our bodies tell us exactly what to do. It is an amazing thing.
So I kept laboring but I didn't feel like I was progressing. It was getting to be around 11pm so we had my Mum and the kids come back home. Jane got in the tub with me which was fun.:) It was a little bonding experience:). But I was glad when she got out and I could feel like I could labor again. While she was in the pool I didn't feel as at liberty to move and sway like I felt I needed to. The kids finally were getting to bed, and I had a little melt down. I remember talking to Sherry and feeling upset that I didn't feel like I was progressing and just telling her everything I was afraid of. It was a really important part of my labor because after I released those emotions I could start to progress again. BJ had the kids down and was by my side from then on. I was worried the kids would wake up and need him, but that never happened(THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER!). I was a little worried about my Mum being there while I was laboring because you get pretty dang naked at a home birth, but that ended up being fine. April was there by then, and with BJ I started to progress more.
They say with a birth tub it is nice because it becomes a sort of private sanctuary. Your husband might get in with you, but besides that no one else enters that space. It is your space, and a lot of women tell me that is a huge part of their labor. For me the tub was wonderful, but where I felt the most alone with BJ and with myself was in our bathroom. I could shut the door and really focus on what was going on. It is a small space and when BJ would be in there with me I felt like I could talk to him and tell him whatever(my deepest fears at that point in labor, or just that I hurt, or to ask him for a priesthood blessing, or whatever) and I didn't have to worry about anyone else hearing me. Labor can make you feel extremely vulnerable, and I liked that I could talk to my BJ in a safe and secure place.
So after awhile I sort of started feeling the urge to push. It felt weird though. Like I couldn't push where I needed to. When I would push it felt like all the pressure was in the front of my vagina instead of where the cervix opening was. I would push and it didn't feel wonderful like it did when it came time to push Denny out. I also still couldn't imagine what position I wanted to push Alice out in. With Denny I was sitting on the ground leaning back on BJ. With Alice I had no idea. Nothing was feeling right. After some painful contractions and confusing pushing I realized that my body wanted to get back in the tub. I was loathe to do so since I knew that the water was not hot anymore, and I get cold and go into shock kind of easy. But my body was CLEARLY telling me that to push this baby out I needed to get in the tub. So I crawled over and in with the help of I think Sherry and BJ? I can't remember. I moved around in there trying to find a comfortable position to push, something felt off. April checked me again and a lip of my cervix still was in the way. She tried moving it out of the way while I pushed, and that felt HORRIBLE. It was so painful that I let out a really loud scream(pretty much the only really loud one I did for that labor-I did make noise, especially at the end, but nothing like that painful "You need to stop doing that now!":). Sherry was exactly what I needed as a doula and kept telling me to move into a specific position. After a few position changes I could tell this was it. I ended up kind of half crouching, half leaning over the side of the pool, half kneeling(how many halves is that?:), with BJ squishing my hips together pretty much the whole time. After some serious pushing, I could feel her coming down. I couldn't see what was happening. From what I felt, it felt like she was made out of a million more bumps and corners than a baby needed. It felt like I had pushed her head all the way out two or three times, and that she felt a bit stuck at various times of her body coming out. I remember as I was pushing the head out it hurt so much that I stood up and everyone was telling me to get back in the water(with a water birth, the reason a baby can stay under water safely for so long is because they don't take a breath until they feel that temperature change coming out of the water). What was actually going on and why pushing felt so weird and confusing was(this is a bit gross, but how it happened, sorry) there was a huge bowel movement in the way not letting the baby come out. If I had been in the hospital I am not sure what would have happened. I probably would have had an epidural and then moving into a position my body needed would have been out. I probably would have been pushing for a LONG LONG time, and the dreaded C word would have maybe come up after too long of pushing. I remember trying to lean back and push at home, and it was not happening, so I can;t imagine trying to push Alice out on my back at the hospital. Movement was KEY. I also would have torn. I know I would have torn if I hadn't been in the tub, this time pushing hurt millions(not like with Denny or Jane at all). I was completely shocked when April checked me after the labor with Alice and I hadn't torn at all.
So anyways, Alice was out and I got to pick her up out of the water and hold her fast to me(3:45am). She was so peaceful! Her eyes were wide open and she was breathing pretty good. She needed a tiny bit of encouragement to breathe really well, but that was quickly remedied with a few puffs from the oxygen tank April had for that sort of thing. BJ was holding the both of us in the tub, and it was just lovely. It felt SO good to have my girl out! I felt like a completely different woman!:)
After my cord stopped pulsating, BJ cut it, and got out of the tub with Alice. I waited a little while for the placenta to be delivered, but it was not feeling like it wanted to do that in the tub. So I was helped into my shower and like a minute later the placenta was delivered, and I was free to shower and can I tell you that was one of my favorite parts! I got into some comfy pj's and into my own comfy bed with Alice while BJ showered and got clean. Alice started to nurse right away(which was a huge blessing, I am not the most talented nurser:). April, Sherry, BJ, my Mum, Alice and me were all in my bedroom as Alice was weighed and checked out. Her arrhythmia was completely gone! Yay! We all got "birth"day presents, and then it was time to go to bed.:) Before Sherry and April left they must have emptied the pool and cleaned up a bit. BJ finished taking down the pool the next morning. People think there is such a mess to clean up if you labor at home, but the midwife is usually pretty discreet I think , and I have never been left with a mess.
It was a long but amazing birth. And I would definitely do it again. With the arrhythmia, even though it was gone, I am sure they would have taken my daughter away for way longer than necessary, just to cover their own butts legally. Sherry and April and my Mum and BJ were perfect supports for me. I knew this was going to be an emotional labor, and I knew I was going to need the support they were perfect at giving. I got to experience that wonderful and unique connection with BJ again, and I got to experience that amazing connection with my own body. Getting into the birth tub at the end was definitely my body's idea, and it turned out to be soooooo necessary. After birth it usually hurts so bad to go to the bathroom, but I didn't experience any of that, and I know that was because I gave birth in the water too.
Anyways, I am NOT a good story teller, and my English and grammar skills are AWFUL, but here is Alice's birth story as best as I can tell it.
In the pool with Momma:)
In comes the Daddy
Our Fabulous Doula and Friend Sherry
Our Midwife is on Fire!
